BELIEVE THEM FIRST, THEN VERIFY

                              Adapted from Sep 17, 2018 Facebook post.

"Deliver those who are being taken away to death, 

And those who are staggering to slaughter, Oh hold them back."

Proverbs 24:11

YA WANNA KNOW HOW TO GET MY BLOOD BOILING?!!

(Yes, I am shouting.)

Just let me hear yet another account of an abused woman treated as if she is the offender, while her abusive husband is basically protected by authorities (i.e., law enforcement and church leaders). [Let me get this out of the way – I know this blanket statement doesn’t apply to every law officer or church leader. If, after reading this, it doesn’t apply to you, then I am so glad. But I implore you to read it all the way through and look into your own heart.]

Listen, Authorities!

I know there are a lot of whiners and manipulators out there. I've encountered plenty.

But I've spent years trying to help women who are victims of spousal abuse, and I AM SO TIRED OF HEARING THIS SAME STORY FROM THEM. The story that the church is further abusing them. These are women who love the Lord wholeheartedly. Some of them have been my close friends. I KNOW their hearts, their desires. They’ve spent years trying to be the godly wife. I believe them.

Sometimes I just want to scream. I AM FED UP. Almost to the point of collaring someone.

(Okay, let me also just put this in here...I know there are women who abuse men. But here, today, I am talking about male to female partner abuse.)

YOU - law enforcement and church leaders - ARE CHARGED WITH PROTECTING the VICTIM...not the perpetrator, the abuser, the predator.

So Church Leaders, Law Enforcement ---

I have a question. Have you studied how these narcissistic sociopaths operate? I have – me, a simple, insignificant housewife. I’ve studied it well. Have you?

I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve made a new female acquaintance, and she begins to reveal things about her husband. And he’s abusing her. I have researched enough, heard enough similar stories that I can almost predict word-for-word what she will say next. It’s not that I’m a mind reader. There’s a template that these losers follow – quite unaware that they’re doing so, I’m sure. Still, they all follow very similar patterns. It’s almost like hearing the same song, and in each verse only the names, faces and places are different. The song is the same.

My point? If I, a common, untrained professional can spot these things ten feet away, WHY CAN’T YOU, CHURCH LEADERS? LAW ENFORCEMENT?

So Church Leaders, Law Enforcement ---

Here's a suggestion:

How about you believe the woman who reports abuse and THEN do your sneaky detective work to verify or negate the claims. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. You have to look beyond the manipulation of the abuser. (And I’ve met them, actually been friends with them, been fooled by them for awhile.) Many of them are charismatic and pretty slick liars. Sure, you might expose a manipulative woman who claims to be abused just to get attention. Good for you. I mean that sincerely. But usually it takes a long time and a lot of guts for a godly, abused women to even go to someone for help. I also know that from helping my friends – the ones married to those charismatic, slick liar friends I mentioned above.

If you start by believing the supposed victim, and do your research, you will more likely expose the real bad guy (the abusive male partner) and maybe even save a woman's life...literally.

Another question: If you’re not getting this, if you’re still “believing” the abuser and discounting the testimony of the victim……...could it be because YOU have something to hide. Are you afraid to shine light on someone else’s darkness because it will shine on yours? Are you complicit? Are you protecting the other good ol’ boys in your club? Yeh, that comes across as pretty rude, but I’ve also witnessed such activity. And I want you to know that I know there are such beasts out there. And speaking of rude...if you're protecting the perverts, and dismissing the cries of the oppressed, abused wives, the word rude doesn't even touch what I want to call you, but can't in polite company. 

Oh, there’s so much more I want to say. But other people have said it much better than I can. (See links below.)

That is all. Thank you. ((Blood still boiling.))

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NOTE: I give these resources, not because I agree with everything they believe, do or say. But because they have either experienced abuse themselves or are helping those who are abused. And a lot of people have found understanding, compassion and help there. 

https://cryingoutforjustice.blog/

https://lightfordarktimes.com/2020/09/04/when-the-church-becomes-the-enemy/

There are also private groups helping abuse survivors. Contact me privately and I will put you in touch with them.